Every Tuesday, my family and I celebrate Taco Tuesday with a tradition that’s as consistent as it is quirky. Growing up in California, I learned that the only way to make taco shells is to fry them to golden perfection. 🌮 So that’s what we do every week. The only problem? We set off the smoke alarm in the process. 🤭
Here’s how it goes: the smoke alarm starts blaring, but instead of rushing around madly, grabbing our valuables and evacuating like there’s a real fire, we just open some doors and windows, fan the smoke alarm, and look forward to those delicious tacos. 😋
This weekly event is a great metaphor for understanding our nervous system. Just like the smoke alarm thinks frying tacos is a fire hazard, our nervous system can misinterpret harmless situations as threats. It’s there to protect us, but it doesn’t always get it right.
So, how does this apply to your relationships? When you’re in a difficult conversation, dealing with intense emotions, or facing intimacy, your nervous system might react as if there’s a fire blazing, even though you’re just dealing with some metaphorical smoke. This can lead you to react in ways that don’t help—like avoiding the conversation, spiraling into negativity, starting a fight, or shutting down completely.
Some people have nervous systems that are extra sensitive, constantly blaring “danger!” when there’s no real threat. If you let this alarm dictate your responses, you might find yourself reacting rather than responding, which can create more problems than it solves.
But here’s the silver lining: you can learn to reset and manage your internal alarm system. By calming your nervous system, you can move from reacting impulsively to responding thoughtfully. The alarm might still go off from time to time, but you’ll be better equipped to distinguish between real threats and false alarms. This ability to discern can open up new possibilities for healthier, more productive interactions in your relationships.
I’ve seen how this shift from reaction to response can transform relationships. Couples who learn to manage their internal alarms often find themselves having more connected and effective conversations. So, next Taco Tuesday, as you fan that smoke alarm and enjoy your tacos, remember that you have the power to handle your internal alarms in a way that fosters a more harmonious relationship.
